Is sex work different?

Image from a sex worker's rights campaign by an irish sex worker's rights organization, Turn off the Blue Light, circa 2010

What do prostitutes dislike about sex work? It’s actually pretty conventional things: bad bosses, bad clients, etc. But when women have bad experiences with sex work, we blame the actual work, not the job conditions. Of course, what women like the least is the stigma, but there are other drawbacks.  But when these drawbacks are investigated, it becomes evident they are not related to the sex work itself.

“According to our respondents, there are both good and bad clients, and sorting the two out is a matter of vital importance to making sex work a positive experience,” Talk Back states.⁷ Brothel by Albert⁸ and The State of Sex⁹ also address the “bad client” difficulty. Men can be rude, show up drunk and disorderly, and try to take advantage of the woman. In the case of brothels, women are compared against other women, and the experience of being repeatedly passed over for someone else can hurt a woman’s self esteem. Learning not to be affected by a disrespectful client or by being passed over is an important skill that sex workers cite as crucial for long term contentment. Much like a waitress, secretary, or any service worker, they must learn to take verbal abuse as not personal, and mentally prepare themselves for contact with clients who are less then friendly. They also must learn to utilize their power to deny a client. Doing so affirms their agency and reminds the client that this is a service, not a right. Learning when and how to do this is a crucial part to developing a satisfying career.

Women also report having clients who they appreciate and enjoy their time with. Some clients are polite, respectful, and tip well. Some women have clients they enjoy sleeping with. Finding clients like that and making them regulars is a way women ensure a more fulfilling job. This is all a part of working in the service industry and emotional labor. Emotional labor can be extremely taxing on workers but it is by no means unique to sex work. When women learn how to deal with bad clients and how to cultivate good relationships with clients, they are learning how to manage their emotional labor and stay healthy.

A central stress of sex work is the management.¹⁰ Women who work in brothels gain certain advantages, but also give up certain things. Management takes about half of their earnings and requires the women to pay for rent and for food, among other fees. It also restricts their movement and imposes rules on when they can work. Some women find the restrictions overwhelming and choose to go it alone-- sacrificing the constant supply of customers and safety of the brothel. It should come as no surprise that research finds women enjoy working at brothels if they perceive the management to be kind, and looking out for their best interest. Some women report having great managers who were flexible, who took them out to dinner and got to know them, and who genuinely cared for their well being. This is strikingly similar to all other kinds of work-- people like working when they feel valued and respected. This is by no means unique to sex work.

So, is sex work special? Research tends to lean towards no. People in any line of work have complicated relationships with management, have to make choices about freelance work, and have to learn how to interact with difficult clients. Nothing about this is exclusively found in sex work. The stigma claims that sex work is special, that it is different because having sex for money is so particular. And yet, what it means to “sell sex” is not clear. We do not stigmatize models, who use their bodies as capital by conforming to popular conceptions of beauty. We do not stigmatize masseurs, who engage in patent physical interaction with clients. The component parts of sex work are not stigmatized in other contexts-- and so the stigma does not come from the sex itself. It comes from what that sex represents: a woman demanding overt, quantifiable payment for a service men believe is their birthright.

^{7. Jeffrey, L. A., & MacDonald, G. M. (2006). Sex workers in the Maritimes talk back. Vancouver: UBC Press.}

^{8. Albert, A. (2001). Brothel: Mustang Ranch and its women. New York: Random House.}

^{9. Brents, B. G., Jackson, C. A., & Hausbeck, K. M. (2010). The state of sex: Tourism, sex, and sin in the new American heartland. New York: Routledge}

^{10. Brents, B. G., Jackson, C. A., & Hausbeck, K. M. (2010). The state of sex: Tourism, sex, and sin in the new American heartland. New York: Routledge}